Karma Chameleon

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I absolutely love this song by the Culture Club – it's a part of my childhood. It also happens to be the name of my blogpost today. Here's the link to it if you wish to hear it:

 

So here's the thing, I've come to one realisation in life: Karma is a bitch with an itch. What goes around almost always comes around and when it does, it bites you hard, harder than anything you've ever imagined.

So when you're out their screwing around with other people's lives like it's child's play, just be assured that it's going to come back and haunt you. This is no rant, or well maybe it is, just a tiny bit perhaps…hehe. I've seen so many people do such horrible things to other people not realising the consequences of their actions, and the funniest thing is, those same people are the ones who are completely in over their heads. They are so delusional, they think everything is about them, they're self obsessed in the most literal sense of the word.

They try to hurt you once, then they try to hurt you again, after that when they see that you are no longer beneficial to them in any way, they leave, very conveniently to only come back after some time with their same douchebaggery (pardon my French) knocking on your door like nothing happened. That's the most hilarious part of it by the way it, because that is when Karma kicks in.

Yep, that Karma chameleon is doing its mojo, I don't know what the Culture Club mean't by the Karma Chameleon in their very famous eighties song, but this is how I perceive the word and am using it. So anyway, the Karma chameleon is a champ like that okay? because you see, you just have to sit back and enjoy the show while it lasts.

Now, I'm not the least bit sadistic, don't just take my word for it, the people who know me personally know what kind of a person I am, and they respect me and admire me for it, however, I believe in fairness, and justice, so therefore, I strongly believe that when somebody decides to take interest in your life again, even after knowing what an absolute insult it is to themselves and the person that they're trying to touch bases with, you should just let that be, just the way it is and not do anything about it.

Being a forgiving, considerate and soft individual is great, but forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget. So when someone tries to get in touch with you out of the blue, you don't necessarily have to respond the way they want you to, in fact, you don't have to respond at all! You know why? because forgiveness doesn't always mean that you wish to keep ties with the person.

It's just about being a bigger person, letting things go and moving forward, it has nothing to do with communication, no matter what anyone says about "forgiveness is forgetting" and that you can't truly forgive someone without forgetting what they did, that is not true. You can be a bigger person by forgiving, but you have the choice of not indulging yourself in the same situation again. It differs from person to person, but this is just my take on it.

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What Is Happiness?

Have you ever asked yourself what happiness means to you? Like just taken a moment to think about the stuff that truly matters in life? Is happiness a fleeting moment or something much more?

I'm not going get into the happiness isn't based on material needs mumbo jumbo because that is subjective. Every human being has their own definition of contentment – their contentment might lie in splurging and going on a shopping spree. I've done so, more than my share if I may add. *hides face*

Can you be happy in making someone else happy? Even briefly? Can you find pleasure in being sadistic and hurting others? Both could equally be true; the making of a modern paradox. There are some human beings who I'd like to think, perhaps; circumstantially, take pleasure in being sadistic – in being happy in a fleeting moment with one person but at the same lying to themselves that their thirst for being with other people is satiated.

Some men and women just can't function with monogamy. That's happiness for them, and it's perfectly alright. We all have the free will to be as we please.

Happiness for me? Is the simple things that make the bigger picture – cuddles with my lover, sipping Irish Creme coffee knowing very well that I can't take too much caffeine!

Sitting with my parents/parents-in-laws going deep into the past, talking about the simpler less technologically sound times. Also, wanting the same kind of childhood for my kids in the future. Having a plate full of 'Biryani' that 'Aiyan' (my childhood nanny) has made for me. Playing with my African Grey and giving him kisses and seeing my Indian Ringneck get jealous and fighting for my attention. These are the little things that bring happiness on a day to day basis, as we move forward in life, we must stop dwelling in the past, for the past is gone and what lies ahead is a part of the present, which is why it is a gift.

What are the things that make you happy?

Share them with me in the comments section. Comment below!

Spellbound


– Wishing Column at Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, Turkey.

I've written so much about love, affection and emotional intelligence over the course of time that (oddly enough) people consider me a veteran in the matters of the heart. What they don't know is that I've experienced the fragility of relationships in life in order to get to this point of understanding – and I'm much stronger and happier for having endured and weathered with grace and dignity.

Relationships don't just have to be romantic, they are formed on various wavelengths with different individuals. Some ties are spiritual. Sometimes, we connect with people emotionally and mentally while on the other hand there's a possibility of getting romantically inclined. Some bonds are so much more than mere lust and "love" in the most generic sense. They go deeper, farther than anything else that you may have ever experienced.

Such instances leave us bewildered for most part of our lives. When we experience a relationship like that in our life, we want to hold on to it, tight with all our might – tight enough to turn our knuckles white. Alas! We seldom can, such is the irony of life; as we know it. Even if we want to flash freeze those stolen moments we just can't because we almost never, I repeat, never realize that the time is now, the time is always NOW. You have to grab hold of what you have and make sure you keep it close when you have it, otherwise it slips out of your hand like grains of sand, and all that is left is an empty palm and an insatiable itch to relieve the emptiness inside your bare soul, and I'm afraid that burning desire enslaves us (you, me, all of us) for the rest of our lives as we move forward in different directions.

The What Ifs

I've always been of the opinion that women should have the free will to exercise their rights and be as they please. I feel that the Pakistani (desi) society puts too much pressure on us women to be a certain way and act a certain way. Why is it a woman's responsibility to follow social norms and be the way others want her to be? Nobody has the right to make anyone feel that way, absolutely no one can force you to practice something you don't believe in.

The irony of the matter is that although I've constantly spoken/written about social issues and how inequality on emotional/physical level gets in the way of women in this society, I feel that our society is just not mature enough to turn a blind eye towards its mysoginistic mindset. I'm not saying it's unpleasant to be married, it's a wonderful transition, but the laws and unwritten, unsaid bylaws that come attached to it are heavy, and I'm afraid that if you're not prepared to accept them and (sacrifice) literally sacrifice most of your free will, you shouldn't even consider the idea of marriage.

It can get suffocating to say the least. You shouldn't be expected to follow another set of religious beliefs and leave the ones you've had for the past twenty something years. Although, no one ever says that you have to leave your prior religious beliefs it is implied that you have to carry them forth in the family and extended family gatherings. It's just a confusing and sad state to be in. It can also take a toll on your health at times, because you probably didn't expect any of this and most certainly were extremely misinformed by your kith and kin.

You could've been one of those laid back easy going women who had her life chalked out, you were excelling academically, you had a job, and wanted to pursue it later on. You had no intentions of settling down, but your father or mother emotionally blackmailed your vulnerable confused fresh out college self into getting committed by saying "shaadi k baad ker lena" (Do everything you've ever wanted after marriage). That my friends is a huge lie in your face and never ever fall for that. You were so messed up and confused in the head that you actually believed that you were weak and fragile enough to settle down for less and depend on someone for the rest of your life. As soon as you're married, you're going to be pestered about when you're going to have children. Things will keep getting more and more unpleasant.

Before you get engaged or married, please make sure the person involved in the whole process hasn't lied to you about the boy/girl or their families and mindsets, because going into a different mindset can be painful and upsetting on both ends. You can't live liberally in a conservative mindset, and don't expect these partriarchal societal norms to change for one mere woman, they won't. A woman in this society is just made to be objectified or made the target of the entire family's mockery/grudgery if she doesn't match up to their standards of chastity (read sharafat). If she even sneezes like a man or God forbid has opinions like a man she has no place in a family like that, and of course, the whole stigma of divorce lingers on in minds and lives carry on, unhappy and discontent.

This wasn't meant to be a negative, sexist rant, just a few basic facts of life; to be taken with a pinch of salt. đŸ˜‰

Yours, Theirs, and Ours (Part 1)



This is the first part of an ongoing series of short stories. 

Sharleen was a fine young girl of 18 – a very fine girl indeed. She was the girl next door with her raven hair, porcelain skin and brown limpid pools for eyes, she tried to fit in and be accepted, yet she never really did. She was different. She was lost, and her confusion could only be understood by some or none at all. That’s when she met him. He came and swept her of her feet. Her vision changed – she gained perspective and that’s where her journey began.
Sharleen was born and bred in Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan. Her family’s roots were planted deep in the city of gardens since centuries. Her conventional upbringing didn’t make it easy for her to be herself in the world they lived in. Her free spirit was entangled in a web of social norms and expectations and she yearned to get out of it. Her love for him changed him and his understanding of her depth transformed her.

She didn’t believe in conventional love stories and Disney-esque fairy tales, she was a realist who knew that being swept off her feet meant that she probably slipped on a wet floor and lost balance. Harib knew all her vulnerabilities and still loved her very much. His demons danced with hers to the rhythm of their love. 

Sharleen had a rough childhood, her father cheated on her mother and she faced the consequences. She saw her mother leave, her siblings and father in shambles. She followed her mother to her aunt’s house, clenching her dupatta in her tiny hands, wailing, calling her mom “Amaa! , Amaa! Please take me with you, don’t leave me!” Her mother stayed at the aunt’s for a month and a half and returned home, when her father said that he’s a changed man. The Pakistani society wouldn’t have accepted a divorcee at the time and it would’ve affected Sharleen and her sister; Lamees and brother; Azeem’s futures. 

Growing up in all the chaos had it’s effects on Sharleen….Harib would bear witness to it.

To be continued….

Disclaimer: This piece of writing and the one following are fictional, any resemblance to any person is purely coincidental. 

Thoughts on life, love and everything in between.. transcribed by a self proclaimed bleeding writer.