“If pain must come, may it come quickly. I have a life to live, and I need to live it in the best possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then I will either wait for him or forget him. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.” – Paulo Coelho
This quote resonates with me on so many levels. I’ve always been an impulsive person, maybe a little too impulsive for my own good, and I tend to skim through most situations in my life. I thrive on extremes. For me, it’s either here or there – it’s never split between two. A part of me wants the best of both worlds, don’t we all at some point? And then there’s a part of me that just wants to end the madness. I don’t wish to succumb to my perplexities, I wish to rise above them, breathe above the water whilst still submerged in it’s waves. I don’t wish to be carried away by the current, I don’t want my Kayak to topple and yet I’m willing to put myself in that position where I’m vulnerable enough to drown.
Pain is an inevitable part of life. The difference lies in the way we deal with it, there are some (like myself) who choose to treat it like a band-aid, just rip it off, get it over with and then there are some who let the suffering linger on – the slow and steady pull of the adhesive band-aid. As Paulo Coelho very aptly states; not knowing what to do is the worst. That state of contemplation where you’re unsure whether to keep inflicting pain on yourself or to just take the plunge and get rid of it in one stroke. It’s like you’re addicted to pain, so accustomed to it that you know no other way. Your life starts feeling
like an empty vessel without it. The act of waiting is perhaps the most difficult, to be lost in despair, to be hanging by a thread, not knowing when to give up.
Pain isn’t a choice, the way we deal with it is. it’s better to get rid of what’s causing it/could be the cause of it in the longer run than let it engulf you and cause scars that take a lifetime to heal. Sometimes, the only way is to give in, give up, let go and not salt your wounds with unnecessary complexities. Put an antiseptic, bear the minor stinging sensation and then move forward.