The Wallflower’s Guide to Gaslighting

Being an outcast amongst your kith and kin has it’s perks. You can be a fly on the wall and really observe things. Sometimes being around certain people can be the loneliest thing in the world.

You become nostalgic for your own flesh and blood, and a tear streams down, tracing the rough edges of your face that has aged far more than your years. You taste your salty tear as it reaches your upper lip, and quickly glimpse and check if no one noticed.

If I’m being completely honest, at times you want them to notice. You want them to know that their presence causes you distress – that you notice every demeaning act of theirs and wonder how they can wake up every morning and look at themselves in the mirror.

The problem with such indifferent morons is that they can never be in the wrong, they’re almost always right and they know exactly how to gaslight their poor, clueless victims.

They’ll look you right in the eye and say they have no issues with you, and turn their back towards you and talk ill of you in front their siblings and extended family. All so that they can prove themselves to be innocent and blame you as the bad guy and mold the opinions of the ones around them to their advantage.

They’ll avoid contact with you and then when you address the issue they’d say it’s you who has the problem. They’d impose their insecurities on you and try to oppress you by making you doubt yourself, they’d do everything in their power to break your self esteem.

What do people get out of the misery of others? Is it sheer sadism or a deep rooted sense of insecurity and negativity that makes them rejoice in the agony of another? It’s remarkable how people can stoop so low even for their standards. Such instances appall me and at the same time humor me. I suppose, dark humor is befitting for people like me.

There are so many women in Pakistan who suffer at the hands of their “Loved ones” every single day. It’s a sad state of affairs that ninety percent of women (girl children) don’t get a chance even in the womb let alone in the outside world. Families just don’t want to put their bets on their girls – their girls are better off being someone else’s responsibility before they become too comfortable and dependent on their own flesh and blood.

Besides, isn’t the family’s respect all that a girl ever has to think about? If she doesn’t marry, and stop being such a nuisance to her siblings and her parents, how will they show their faces to the society? This hypocritical society that is built on the basis of double standards .

My posts might seem to be laced with displeasure to some, and they might seem like they’re brimming with negative emotions, but in reality these are just the facts of life and this is by no means a hateful discourse. There is a lot to be thankful for in life, and one should always count their blessings. Alhamdulilah (Praise be to God)

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