The Peak of Everything

What is the peak of anxiety? Those of you who suffer from it, regularly or sporadically would know that it is a condition best described by the individual who goes through it. It truly varies from person to person.

As an individual who suffers from bouts of anxiety and panic from time to time like any other human being (let’s normalize talking about mental health), I had a revelation just now. I called out my house help over something that she forgot to do. My own emotions are overwhelmed, I’m drained out both physically and mentally due to the adrenaline of the past 3 weeks. It has been a lot to take in for everyone. Losing your loved ones to a disease that doesn’t even let you get close to them is perhaps the height of helplessness one can experience.

After I gave her my two cents, I thought to myself. Why I did I do what I just did? I had no reason to speak harshly towards her, I could’ve spoken calmly instead but my own emotions weren’t in check and so I lost control and took them out on her. The question here is: How can I be so unforgiving towards someone who probably suffers from the same internal turmoil that I suffer from bits of, myself?

So I’m writing to find an answer to this question. Our emotions are in such dire need of regulation, it’s such a trying time for all of us. This pandemic has costed us a lot, but more so, it is here to teach us a lesson in empathy and kindness regardless of our personal and professional differences.

Even if we can’t contain ourselves in moments of weakness, it’s important to be forgiving and equally to be forgiven. If we want forgiveness, we have to be forgiving of other peoples actions. The triviality of these little things is so inconsequential in the bigger scheme of things.

So, lesson learned – next time, keep your emotional high in check and understand that the other person could have their reasons to behave the way their doing. I know that my house help suffers from personal issues that cause her to get anxious and health issues as told by the doctor, so one needs to be mindful of others at all times rather than unloading your sentimental baggage on someone else.

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