Tag Archives: #life

Karma Chameleon

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I absolutely love this song by the Culture Club – it's a part of my childhood. It also happens to be the name of my blogpost today. Here's the link to it if you wish to hear it:

 

So here's the thing, I've come to one realisation in life: Karma is a bitch with an itch. What goes around almost always comes around and when it does, it bites you hard, harder than anything you've ever imagined.

So when you're out their screwing around with other people's lives like it's child's play, just be assured that it's going to come back and haunt you. This is no rant, or well maybe it is, just a tiny bit perhaps…hehe. I've seen so many people do such horrible things to other people not realising the consequences of their actions, and the funniest thing is, those same people are the ones who are completely in over their heads. They are so delusional, they think everything is about them, they're self obsessed in the most literal sense of the word.

They try to hurt you once, then they try to hurt you again, after that when they see that you are no longer beneficial to them in any way, they leave, very conveniently to only come back after some time with their same douchebaggery (pardon my French) knocking on your door like nothing happened. That's the most hilarious part of it by the way it, because that is when Karma kicks in.

Yep, that Karma chameleon is doing its mojo, I don't know what the Culture Club mean't by the Karma Chameleon in their very famous eighties song, but this is how I perceive the word and am using it. So anyway, the Karma chameleon is a champ like that okay? because you see, you just have to sit back and enjoy the show while it lasts.

Now, I'm not the least bit sadistic, don't just take my word for it, the people who know me personally know what kind of a person I am, and they respect me and admire me for it, however, I believe in fairness, and justice, so therefore, I strongly believe that when somebody decides to take interest in your life again, even after knowing what an absolute insult it is to themselves and the person that they're trying to touch bases with, you should just let that be, just the way it is and not do anything about it.

Being a forgiving, considerate and soft individual is great, but forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget. So when someone tries to get in touch with you out of the blue, you don't necessarily have to respond the way they want you to, in fact, you don't have to respond at all! You know why? because forgiveness doesn't always mean that you wish to keep ties with the person.

It's just about being a bigger person, letting things go and moving forward, it has nothing to do with communication, no matter what anyone says about "forgiveness is forgetting" and that you can't truly forgive someone without forgetting what they did, that is not true. You can be a bigger person by forgiving, but you have the choice of not indulging yourself in the same situation again. It differs from person to person, but this is just my take on it.

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What Is Happiness?

Have you ever asked yourself what happiness means to you? Like just taken a moment to think about the stuff that truly matters in life? Is happiness a fleeting moment or something much more?

I'm not going get into the happiness isn't based on material needs mumbo jumbo because that is subjective. Every human being has their own definition of contentment – their contentment might lie in splurging and going on a shopping spree. I've done so, more than my share if I may add. *hides face*

Can you be happy in making someone else happy? Even briefly? Can you find pleasure in being sadistic and hurting others? Both could equally be true; the making of a modern paradox. There are some human beings who I'd like to think, perhaps; circumstantially, take pleasure in being sadistic – in being happy in a fleeting moment with one person but at the same lying to themselves that their thirst for being with other people is satiated.

Some men and women just can't function with monogamy. That's happiness for them, and it's perfectly alright. We all have the free will to be as we please.

Happiness for me? Is the simple things that make the bigger picture – cuddles with my lover, sipping Irish Creme coffee knowing very well that I can't take too much caffeine!

Sitting with my parents/parents-in-laws going deep into the past, talking about the simpler less technologically sound times. Also, wanting the same kind of childhood for my kids in the future. Having a plate full of 'Biryani' that 'Aiyan' (my childhood nanny) has made for me. Playing with my African Grey and giving him kisses and seeing my Indian Ringneck get jealous and fighting for my attention. These are the little things that bring happiness on a day to day basis, as we move forward in life, we must stop dwelling in the past, for the past is gone and what lies ahead is a part of the present, which is why it is a gift.

What are the things that make you happy?

Share them with me in the comments section. Comment below!

The What Ifs

I've always been of the opinion that women should have the free will to exercise their rights and be as they please. I feel that the Pakistani (desi) society puts too much pressure on us women to be a certain way and act a certain way. Why is it a woman's responsibility to follow social norms and be the way others want her to be? Nobody has the right to make anyone feel that way, absolutely no one can force you to practice something you don't believe in.

The irony of the matter is that although I've constantly spoken/written about social issues and how inequality on emotional/physical level gets in the way of women in this society, I feel that our society is just not mature enough to turn a blind eye towards its mysoginistic mindset. I'm not saying it's unpleasant to be married, it's a wonderful transition, but the laws and unwritten, unsaid bylaws that come attached to it are heavy, and I'm afraid that if you're not prepared to accept them and (sacrifice) literally sacrifice most of your free will, you shouldn't even consider the idea of marriage.

It can get suffocating to say the least. You shouldn't be expected to follow another set of religious beliefs and leave the ones you've had for the past twenty something years. Although, no one ever says that you have to leave your prior religious beliefs it is implied that you have to carry them forth in the family and extended family gatherings. It's just a confusing and sad state to be in. It can also take a toll on your health at times, because you probably didn't expect any of this and most certainly were extremely misinformed by your kith and kin.

You could've been one of those laid back easy going women who had her life chalked out, you were excelling academically, you had a job, and wanted to pursue it later on. You had no intentions of settling down, but your father or mother emotionally blackmailed your vulnerable confused fresh out college self into getting committed by saying "shaadi k baad ker lena" (Do everything you've ever wanted after marriage). That my friends is a huge lie in your face and never ever fall for that. You were so messed up and confused in the head that you actually believed that you were weak and fragile enough to settle down for less and depend on someone for the rest of your life. As soon as you're married, you're going to be pestered about when you're going to have children. Things will keep getting more and more unpleasant.

Before you get engaged or married, please make sure the person involved in the whole process hasn't lied to you about the boy/girl or their families and mindsets, because going into a different mindset can be painful and upsetting on both ends. You can't live liberally in a conservative mindset, and don't expect these partriarchal societal norms to change for one mere woman, they won't. A woman in this society is just made to be objectified or made the target of the entire family's mockery/grudgery if she doesn't match up to their standards of chastity (read sharafat). If she even sneezes like a man or God forbid has opinions like a man she has no place in a family like that, and of course, the whole stigma of divorce lingers on in minds and lives carry on, unhappy and discontent.

This wasn't meant to be a negative, sexist rant, just a few basic facts of life; to be taken with a pinch of salt. 😉

Rantings of An Anxious 20 Something

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  1. Sometimes, it’s hard to even verbalize your thoughts – what you’re truly feeling. Your heart and head are almost never in the same place at the same time.
  2.  One moment your heart is thumping real fast, the next it’s a splitting headache – whatever the brain pleases to focus on.
  3.  You can’t remotely imagine explaining yourself to people. You’ve tried hard enough already and it’s an uphill battle every time. No one gets it (except the ones who actually suffer from anxiety themselves).
  4.  The “society” is cruel. I’m not jumping the gun, passing judgments and saying that everyone’s alike,  I’m talking about a major chunk of the “desi” Pakistani/Indian community that treats anxiety ridden individuals like people who need to be treated for major mental disorders and (God Forbid) see shrinks (like that’s a bad thing?!).
  5. Seeing a psychologist/psychiatrist is perfectly normal. There’s nothing wrong with talking things out with someone who’d be able to guide you better and understand your ordeal.
  6. Do not, I repeat, do NOT let the society dictate what and how you should feel. It’s their fault that they fail to comprehend basic human nature – It’s OKAY to not feel good some days. You don’t owe anyone anything.
  7. If you’re married or in a committed relationship and have an understanding partner, that’s a blessing. Talk things out with him/her. Don’t make the mistake of not disclosing your issues to your partner no matter how much your conventional desi mother or your older married cousin-sisters warned you of disclosing your personal details to your husband since it was bound to come haunting you later on in your married life.
  8. You need to surround yourself around individuals who support you and get you through your phases. Avoid negativity at all costs.
  9. Distract. Distract. Distract!. Distract yourself as much as you can from letting your thoughts get to you. Pray and meditate. Exercise, read new books, unwind and just don’t let your mind go into overdrive. Over-thinking is your enemy, you have to win this battle.
  10. Last, but not the least….stay put, stay positive and keep calm. Just remember that it’ll all be fine. God helps those who believe.

Cerebrating Pony Ride

 

 

How does one express oneself when they don't have an outlet to blow off steam? How do you express yourself when the walls are closing in on you?. Have you ever been in a situation where you're not even sure how you feel about the entirety of it – how did you even get there and why?

All those books of the self-help variety should've been the least bit "helpful" when they reiterated and underlined the "no regrets in life" extracts. You're thankful for one thing at one moment and the next, you're just wondering where you went wrong. Is it wrong to love thyself and perhaps also another – the unforgivable, untouchable, alas! unattainable?

Perhaps modern day Shakespearean tales persist amidst the mundane, and maybe, just maybe some of us will always be misfits who shall for most parts of their lives remain a tad bit crooked to fit the puzzle. Transitioning to new dimensions is as good as your next delusion about the fairytale you imagined would embrace you at the edge of it. If only we could pick and choose our metamorphosis, fight and win these battles for ourselves and not let others decide our fate. In the end we're just horses running in the race against time and space, ponies charging against the wind, winning battles for the sake of it.

Not Entitled To You

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“I don’t want you to this.” “I don’t want to do this.” There’s a massive difference between the two. The former is an imposition of your beliefs on someone else, the latter addresses you. We humans have the innate ability to take ownership – we want ownership. We want to call something or someone ours, we want to put labels on what’s ‘ours’ and what’s ‘theirs’.

How would we survive otherwise? God forbid! if you’d ever have to be seen sitting alone, basking in the solitude. What would all of them think? The society?  You can’t possibly be seen reading a book with earphones in your ears, away from all forms of social interaction.

Those people you call your friends wouldn’t associate with you now would they? The group of four or five that you fostered for the last couple of years, went out of your way for in the most literal sense and bended over backwards if all else failed, would disown you if you ever indulged in antisocial behaviour.

Hey, it couldn’t possibly be that you enjoy your own company or could it? That you wish to disassociate for some time, unwind. You’re not the kind to break off ties on the basis of mood swings, you’re just finding solace in yourself. You’re keeping to yourself, doing your own thing.

You’re looking at things from a fresh perspective and have realised that you don’t need to wear a tag around your neck to have a sense of belonging and neither do you wish to add tags to your prized possessions to claim ownership.

What’s yours will remain yours, without the tags and labels, and what isn’t will never be no matter how hard you try. The only way you can truly be at ease is when you’re happy by yourself. It’s unfortunate that there are times when people find it intimidating, they take it as a blow to their egos that a person is perfectly capable of standing alone.

Some individuals just don’t need the big social circles and mindless babble around them to survive, they can do it without any of it or just with a few likeminded individuals whom they know would be there  – no strings attached.