Sometimes you’re at a loss of words. You’re not quite sure how to put your thoughts into words. When I started writing this blog, I wasn’t entirely sure whether anyone would read it. I thought to myself, why would anybody want to read my thoughts and reveries? I could never be that interesting even if I tried. (Pun intended)
As a socially awkward silent observer, I thought this blog would liberate me. It would help me evolve, break out of my shell and let the world inside my little bubble and maybe, just maybe somewhere down the lane, someone would acknowledge me and could perhaps relate to me and for once I’d be able to feel that there are others like me – I’m not alone.
I never thought my thoughts could resonate with a handful of individuals but they have and I’m humbled by that. Although my blog isn’t nearly as accomplished/followed as most of the blogs here, every like, every follower, every little share counts and it keeps me going. So thank you! Thank you all of you for making a twenty two year old (almost 23 – 8 more days to go) feel that she belongs, that she’s heard, and most importantly that she is a part of you.
How does one express oneself when they don’t have an outlet to blow off steam? How do you express yourself when the walls are closing in on you?. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re not even sure how you feel about the entirety of it – how did you even get there and why?
All those books of the self-help variety should’ve been the least bit “helpful” when they reiterated and underlined the “no regrets in life” extracts. You’re thankful for one thing at one moment and the next, you’re just wondering where you went wrong. Is it wrong to love thyself and perhaps also another – the unforgivable, untouchable, alas! unattainable?
Perhaps modern day Shakespearean tales persist amidst the mundane, and maybe, just maybe some of us will always be misfits who shall for most parts of their lives remain a tad bit crooked to fit the puzzle. Transitioning to new dimensions is as good as your next delusion about the fairytale you imagined would embrace you at the edge of it. If only we could pick and choose our metamorphosis, fight and win these battles for ourselves and not let others decide our fate. In the end we’re just horses running in the race against time and space, ponies charging against the wind, winning battles for the sake of it.
There are instances in life that shake us and break us, they move us to tears but they aren’t in our control. Nothing’s ever what we expect, one moment we’re planning our whole life with someone and the next we’re ending up with someone completely different or not ending up with anyone at all. This is the irony of life – the bitter reality. Some of us live our lives under the shadow of regrets; things we wish we would’ve done when we could’ve, explored new horizons, looked at life through another perspective, truly felt alive.
I’ve always said that love is a subjective term and I still hold the same stance, however, how true is it in terms of loving something to the extent of letting it go when you know it can never truly be yours?
Can a person ever be so selfless as to let the one thing that they loved the most in their life slip away? It can’t be easy. It is not child’s play. Forced circumstances in life lead to drastic measures…measures that inflict never healing wounds and scars that last a lifetime. It’s a tug of war between the head and the heart, between what the heart wants and what the mind dictates. Who wins the battle? Is it even fair play?
Why does the heart always have to bow down in front of rationality and practicality? Can’t the heart want what it wants? Why constrict it? Why even have a heart when all the world asks of you is to listen to your head? It makes no sense.
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil is a movie that deals with all these questions and the underlying emotions that bind us humans together. Karan Johar is known as the king of romance, and quite honestly, he knows how to get the work done. The plot revolves around themes of heartbreak, betrayal, friendship and the grey complexities that surround relationships. The music is exceptional, Arijit Singh has done a fine job in the romantic numbers.
The cinematography could be improved, however the actors’ phenomenal dialogue delivery makes up for any flaws in direction. Ranbir Kapoor has outdone himself as Ayan, Anushka Sharma was the perfect choice for the role of Alizeh, Aishwariya Rai did fairly well. Fawad Khan’s acting was sub par, he failed to deliver in comparison to Ranbir or Imran Abbas and Shahrukh Khan (who made cameo appearances).
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil has to be Karan Johar’s finest work till date. It’s a tale that moves you, it touches the depths of your heart. The superb dialogue delivery and well constructed script makes this movie worth watching for any die hard romantic. This one’s a real tear jerker, not for the faint of heart.
Let me know what you think of the movie in the comments. 🙂
“I don’t want you to this.” “I don’t want to do this.” There’s a massive difference between the two. The former is an imposition of your beliefs on someone else, the latter addresses you. We humans have the innate ability to take ownership – we want ownership. We want to call something or someone ours, we want to put labels on what’s ‘ours’ and what’s ‘theirs’.
How would we survive otherwise? God forbid! if you’d ever have to be seen sitting alone, basking in the solitude. What would all of them think? The society? You can’t possibly be seen reading a book with earphones in your ears, away from all forms of social interaction.
Those people you call your friends wouldn’t associate with you now would they? The group of four or five that you fostered for the last couple of years, went out of your way for in the most literal sense and bended over backwards if all else failed, would disown you if you ever indulged in antisocial behaviour.
Hey, it couldn’t possibly be that you enjoy your own company or could it? That you wish to disassociate for some time, unwind. You’re not the kind to break off ties on the basis of mood swings, you’re just finding solace in yourself. You’re keeping to yourself, doing your own thing.
You’re looking at things from a fresh perspective and have realised that you don’t need to wear a tag around your neck to have a sense of belonging and neither do you wish to add tags to your prized possessions to claim ownership.
What’s yours will remain yours, without the tags and labels, and what isn’t will never be no matter how hard you try. The only way you can truly be at ease is when you’re happy by yourself. It’s unfortunate that there are times when people find it intimidating, they take it as a blow to their egos that a person is perfectly capable of standing alone.
Some individuals just don’t need the big social circles and mindless babble around them to survive, they can do it without any of it or just with a few likeminded individuals whom they know would be there – no strings attached.
Soo…I’ve been AWOL for quite a while now and I haven’t been focusing much on my blog since the past couple of months, to say the least – a lot has been going on in my life, like A LOT. I don’t even know where to begin…It started off with my dad getting diagnosed with coronary heart disease, the doctors in Pakistan said that it was a complicated case, hence; we brought him to America…New York to be precise. So basically, I’m in New York at the moment, sitting in my room, it’s 2:40 AM and I’m typing away on my Laptop and it’s glaring at me as if it’s trying to subliminally tell me how extremely exhausted I am! and I really need some shut eye. The relentless person that I am, I will keep writing till my last breath! (read till my eye lids need toothpicks to keep them from shutting).
New York is like a second home to me. I have this strange familiarity with it, the sort that invites you to itself. I don’t know if its the city or the people who live in this city that make me love it so much, regardless, this is my happy place, and it always will be. New York, you’re one heck of a bright, juicy apple!
Lately, it has been raining cats and dogs in Lahore and I happened to step out in the pouring rain for a cruise with a close friend of mine, it was one of those long drives where you just indulge in good music (preferably easy listening) and unwind. I was sitting shotgun and my gaze was naturally directed towards the swishing windshield wipers and the glistening rain-soaked road that lie ahead. The aimlessly falling raindrops on the glass, sliding, intermingling with other drops, paving their paths, captivated me.
I got lost in my own little reverie. I didn’t see these raindrops for what they actually were, I saw them as a million little crystals being reflected by light. The moment one little drop fell on the glass windshield, it transformed into a diamond, and it turned everything it touched into a gleaming Broadway show. It was almost surreal, I realized how magical the world could be if I just tweaked how I perceived little things.
Something as little as a micro drop of water could hold the power to transform everything around it into a Leonid Afremov-esque painting (His work is mesmerizing). It’s such a beautiful sight to see that a drop of water holds a mirror within, and that the moment it gets struck by light , its a flawless diamond lighting the world. Its truly a spectacular sight if you view it from a different perspective. They say it rains diamonds on Jupiter, they say it rains diamonds on Saturn…I’d like to believe that it rains diamonds on Earth, its just about thought. 🙂
Thoughts on life, love and everything in between.. transcribed by a self proclaimed bleeding writer.