As I sat down today to jot down a few things on paper, I realized a couple of things as the ink spread across the carefully measured lines. On another note, I bought this amazing gel pen the other day from a photocopy place and it is probably one of the smoothest pens I have come across. I usually tend to journal with my Parker ink pen specifically filled with teal colored ink and no other color but that (my choice of color is a mystery of sorts), since today I wasn’t exactly writing in my journal, I wrote a few lines in a spiral notebook and I used the gel pen to pen my reveries. I think I’ve found another favorite pen of mine. Can we have two favorites of a particular thing? I think yes.
I began writing down things I’d like to achieve eventually what I could do to reach certain goals, and increase my productivity. I’ve been feeling a number of things these days but what I feel the most is how average I’ve always been. I wasn’t always the brightest, smartest, loveliest one in a place, there was always someone better, and there always will ne I suppose.
The only time I ever felt I was actually good at something was when I wrote for the college gazette and my professor saw potential in me and made me an editor. She used to display my articles publicly for the entire junior/senior class to see. She used to encourage me and praise me publicly and that made a world of difference to me.
I was no longer the average joe, I was actually great at something, something others either weren’t as good at or didn’t have the passion to pursue wholeheartedly. It was this revelation that led to my writing journey, and gave birth to this blog.
Anyhow, these days I’m trying to find myself. I’m playing the guitar more frequently and doing things that help me discover who I am as an individual. Over the years, I’ve felt that I’ve lost my identity to other people’s perceived happiness and it is extremely important to know yourself in order to be truly content, so here I am trying to do just that.
The one thing that needs to be understood is that people will never be satisfied with what you do, specifically your nearest and dearest ones. I feel that the fact that we get to choose our friends and not choose our families is a sad reality. You’d think you’d be able to choose your family when searching for prospective life partners in Pakistan but that is also a rare commodity in orthodox setups.
Before anyone from the “nearest and dearest” category throws a hissy fit over what I’ve written on my blog, and derive negative connotations of it, lol if you have an issue with it, maybe you shouldn’t read it and keep your nose out of my business, also learn a little. Educate yourself, it might help you not take things so personally and take ‘em with a pinch of salt. A blog is a place for free flowing writing and emotional growth, let it retain its significance.
As far as personal growth goes I’ve always felt that I’m a jack of all trades master of none. I have an average skill set backing me up but nothing that I feel I have excelled at apart from being able to write (that too sporadically) when the inspiration strikes.
So really what is it that we’re truly good at in our lives? Or is it just that every individual thrives on a multitude of averages in their lifetimes. On the occasion that you do happen to be exceptional at something is it only till the time someone or something better comes along and surpasses your greatness?
The real question here is, are we ever extraordinary – above and beyond expectations? Or is it just a fleeting moment and then something better comes along and we find ourselves amongst the average joes of the world, yet again. We’re all just a bunch of unremarkable, passable individuals walking the earth at a single point in time. All equilibrium is restored, for a brief period..at least till the next extraordinary comes along.